But the
fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness,
goodness,
faith, gentleness and self-control... Galatians 5:22-23
I went a few rounds on Facebook. Again. And then repented for
my tone. Again. I'm beginning to think that social media may not the best arena
for me. I get too riled up. My posts tend toward sarcasm, bordering
on snark. Ignoring a challenge is not in my DNA. Sigh. I am way too eager to explain; to be understood; to demonstrate that I am not a nutjob. Which of course sometimes
makes me look like a nutjob. Most of all I can see that my inability to humbly
and graciously allow others to express their opinions, 'uncorrected',
demonstrates an immature need to be right…and accepted. Double sigh. And after
every, single, internet brouhaha, not only have I not persuaded anyone to my
viewpoint, I end up snappish and irritated. Not a model of the gentleness that
Jesus displayed when He was attacked.
Gentleness
is an undervalued trait in our culture—words come to mind like weak, docile,
soft, mousy or defenseless. That cannot be right for Jesus is gentle. And
I don't mean 'gentle Jesus, meek and mild,' for when folks use that cliché they
are describing a Jesus who surely never existed—a nice Sunday School Jesus who'd never
hurt a fly. Jesus is gentle, but He is also the Jesus who threw the
moneychangers out of the Temple; who boldly laid down His life then took it up
again. The One who will return in kingly splendor, thrash the enemy, restore
the world and set it running the way originally intended. So gentleness is
not weak, it is strong, decisive and brave. It takes courage and strength
to determine ahead of time to treat people like God would, no matter how we are
treated in return. My Facebook forays reveal that I have a long way to go.
Gentleness
does not wait to be treated well before treating others with kindness and
respect. In a moment of potential conflict, it is a voluntary abdication of
rights, choosing instead to rely on the vindication of God. It is neither the
result of low self-esteem, nor a passive mindset. To me it feels like
cowardice not to answer every challenge I'm presented, but Jesus was silent
before His accusers. Was He a coward? Did He have nothing intelligent to say?
Of course not; He was simply more concerned with God’s glory and reputation
than His own. Jesus' love for God caused Him to trust in God rather than defend
Himself.
I
am frustrated that our culture has become so shallow that knee-jerk outrage
over stupid stuff counts as noble character these days. And I am ashamed that
we Christians are partly to blame for that. We are just as prone to
micro-aggression and misinformation as anyone else. I expend way too much
energy fighting paper dragons with clever come-backs. Every day real injustice and catastrophe arise, perhaps my outrage
should be reserved for them. Jesus has entrusted us with the words of
life, yet I throw out one-liners like a kid in the locker room snapping towels
at everyone.
There
is no question that we are on a learning curve here. The world is finally
figuring out that our faith makes us different. It's a new reality to find that
a great number of people think we are no better than
terrorists—that Christianity is unintelligent, bigoted and hateful. It is
natural to be shocked, angry and defensive at the level of ignorance and vitriol. But I have
to discern the real issue here. Am I supposed to prove that I am right, or live
and speak in such a way that Jesus' character is illuminated? Our world
grows increasingly dark, but I can't help with that unless I'm holding a
light folks will be drawn to. Ultimately I need to decide who's in charge
of my reputation, me or God. When I must engage—and I'm still learning that I
don't always need to—it should be in a gentle, winsome manner. I can scream all
day long, "Daggone it, treat me with respect!" But arguments aren't won by
shouting down the opposition. If my first inclination is to go on the attack,
what am I winning? No one for Christ, that's for sure!
When
He walked the earth, everything Jesus said and did was a choice made to please
and obey His Father (John 5:19, 30). Jesus' example shows me how far short of
that standard I am, but also makes me want to more completely yield to
God. I want my hard, selfish heart softened to make room for more of Jesus—and
those He loves—in my life. This is a painful journey, though I suspect
a necessary one.
Father help me to stand for what is right, but in a manner that is also right. Help me to take a breath and check my motives before I run my mouth.
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